A Beginner’s Guide to Self Love

By Elena and Lily

Loving yourself is important, though it can get very difficult at times. It’s easy to only see your flaws, and ignore everything else. Losing yourself in your insecurities can easily happen, but self love can prevent that.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Recognize your shortcomings

The first step to loving yourself is to recognize you have flaws. However, you aren’t defined by them. 

You have to recognize your flaws because there’s probably something positive attached to them. All of the people you love have flaws, and you recognize them, however you also recognize the positives attached to the flaws. You might be stubborn, but, on a related note, you work hard to achieve what you want. 

Every one of your flaws is two sided, which is why we have to recognize both sides. To love yourself, you can’t only love half of yourself.

Notice your good qualities

Although it’s important to recognize your flaws, you should focus on your good qualities. Your good qualities are a big part of you, and if you focus on the good qualities, you’re going to see yourself in a positive light.

You can also learn to use your good qualities to your advantage when you recognise them, which can make you more confident in yourself and get to know who you are better. They will also become more apparent to other people giving you good support and helping you love yourself in turn. Still, you can’t solely rely on the approval of other people to love yourself, or you’ll end up more unsure and loathing of yourself then when you started.

Recognizing the good parts of you, without forgetting the old will set you up for success in finding self love. And help you appreciate yourself more.

Hype yourself up

You have to hype yourself up. Positive talk towards yourself is going to create a positive image of yourself in your mind. 

Never spend your morning standing in front of the mirror picking yourself apart. Instead, take a moment when you’re getting ready to look in the mirror and remind yourself you’re beautiful. Remind yourself of your good qualities we talked about above and let yourself know you can do anything. We so often fall into a trap of tearing ourselves down in the mirror, don’t let that happen to you. Use the mirror as a time to spread positivity to yourself.

A good rule for this is if you wouldn’t tell your friend this don’t tell yourself. Let’s say maybe your friend has low self esteem and is coming for you for support. Would you polint of all their flaws and say they were ugly and stupid? Of course not! You’d try to remind them of their good qualities and tell them they’re beautiful and they are enough. If you wouldn’t tell your friend what you’re telling yourself, then it’s time to make a change. There’s no reason to treat yourself as lesser.

Remember, you should be a friend to yourself. Being your own friend means hyping yourself up, and being nice to yourself.

Also don’t tear yourself down as you make mistakes throughout your day. It’s so easy to make one mistake and tell ourselves we’re failures, but don’t be that person. There is a bright side to every single situation if we allow ourselves to see it. Maybe you lost this game, but you learned something new. Focus on that aspect and use your mistakes as a way to improve instead of a way to tear yourself down. 

Don’t let other people dictate your feelings

Self love has to come from within. If you listened to every person and based who you are and what you were worth on their thoughts, you would never be able to love yourself. At the end of the day, you know yourself better than anyone else. And because of that, you have to love yourself more than anyone else. 

People are going to try to tear you down your whole life. You can base your self love on what your mom says about you and love yourself, and then two hours later run into a school bully and hate yourself. If you find your perception of yourself changing based on what others say, this is something you have to work on. 

You’ll never be happy or successful if you don’t know yourself and you don’t love yourself for you, and not for the people who love you. You are the only constant in your life and it’s your job to learn to love yourself.

Do things you love

You’re going to hate yourself if you force yourself to do things you don’t want to. You have to do things you love doing, or at least things that you enjoy.

If you don’t, you’re going to despise yourself because you could’ve spent that time doing something you enjoy doing, and you know that. 

Surround yourself with good energy of things you love, and you’re going to enjoy yourself so much more just because you let yourself enjoy life. By forcing yourself to do things, you cause yourself to dislike time you spend with yourself. You don’t really want to hang out with friends that don’t let you do things you want, so don’t be that friend to yourself.

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